Originally from New York City, I moved to Italy at 24 and have lived here for over twelve years. I’m raising an 8-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son, both born in Italy. Although I didn’t raise my children in America, I grew up there and understand American parenting well. Parenting in Italy, however, is a completely different experience with many surprising elements.
Culinary Contrasts in School Lunches
I remember my public school days in New York, where my mom packed healthy homemade lunches because the cafeteria food was terrible. In contrast, my daughter’s school in Italy serves meals that feel like a gourmet experience. Each day, kids enjoy a first course like pasta with vegetables, a second course such as meatballs or fish, sides like salad, and sometimes dessert. The food is prepared by local cooks, often parents, and overseen by a restaurant.
Differences in After-School Schedules
In America, my friends’ children are constantly busy with sports, music lessons, and tutoring. Italian kids have activities too, but there’s less pressure to fill every hour. The focus is on what the child enjoys, not on building a perfect rĂ©sumĂ©. If they want to play sports, they do; if not, that’s fine.
Greater Freedom for Children
Italian children seem to have more freedom, with parents less involved in monitoring them. This contrasts with my NYC upbringing, where safety was always a priority. I’m more cautious than many local parents, who let their kids climb risky equipment while they socialize. While this builds confidence, I find it hard to embrace fully.
Strong Extended Family Involvement
In Italy, extended family plays a big role in parenting. Grandparents, especially nonnas, are like second mothers, and babysitters are rare because family members help out. My parents moved here and are active grandparents daily.
Community Bonds are Stronger
Where I live in Italy, everyone knows each other, unlike my old NYC neighborhood. Communities are close-knit with a shared responsibility for children, which I never felt in the U.S.
Family Ties Persist into Adulthood
In America, children are expected to leave home for college, but in Italy, many live with parents until marriage, which is normal. Family remains central throughout life.
Further Thoughts on Parenting Abroad
Italian parents aren’t focused on prestigious universities or quick independence; instead, family is valued at any age. My parents are part of our lives, and I hope that continues.
I’m raising my kids by blending Italian independence and community with American safety emphasis. I often feel like an American parent in Italy, in limbo, but there’s no right or wrong way to parent wherever you are.