Many of the high achievers I’ve encountered are living shadow lives as they approach midlife. They’re earning great money and are well respected, but at a certain point, money and respect are not enough for them.
Since their earliest years they’ve been on a path they didn’t intentionally carve out. It’s as if they’ve been following a map drawn by someone else.
I’ve been imploring my clients and communities to tap into their inner map instead. That process, which I’ve named Purposescaping, starts with a pretty intensive life review.
When you’re finally ready to tap into your inner map, you may not realize how much your past programming and defaults are guiding your present day actions and decisions. Most people are not only overworking on autopilot as I write about in The Rest Revolution, they’re also just living on autopilot by doing things because that’s how they’ve always been done.
Rarely do they stop to ask themselves “does it really have to be this way?”
Figuring out your existing path will show you where you are, how you got here, and how you can more clearly see the root of the discontent that may be driving so much of your present-day angst.
These are the 5 steps of the deep clarity I ask my coaching clients to explore.
One – Reflect On Your Youth
According to my executive coaching philosophy Purposescaping, first you have to reflect on what you were drawn to in youth, at what point you began ‘broadening out’ and where you first began to ‘spiral up’.
The visual representation of Purposescaping is a spiral that starts broad and narrows with each revolution up and around the spiral. The top tip of the spiral is the snuggest fit purpose path: the path that is revealed after you’ve edited out all the machinations of the world. It’s what’s left once you’ve gotten back to the truest version of you.
Understanding the rhyme and reason behind your early life seasons will help you put everything else into context.
Two – Look At What You’ve Planted
Next you must reflect on the trends of your past spring planting seasons. When it was time to start a new life chapter and go for something new, when did you flop? When did you soar?
There’s information in the patterns and themes of both the successes and failures.
Question to consider: What are your ideal growing conditions when starting something new?
Three – Look At When You Thrived
Then it’s time you look back over your life about the times you were clearly and abundantly thriving and building forward momentum. You planted something and behold, it took root! You had a new idea, executed it, and it worked.
That’s your summer growth season. Think about the environment that allowed you to grow. Think about the people who supported you and helped you thrive. Think about what eventually caused your growth to slow down.
Remember that when you’re in growth mode, you’ll attract good and bad things. Weeds are attracted to the same nutrients that help healthy plants grow strong.
Question to consider: What should you be looking out for? What are your typical threats to growth?
Four – Reflect On Your Past Big Wins
Next look back over when you’ve been in fall harvest season, i.e. when you were landing promotions, surpassing revenue targets, and winning awards.
Or on the personal front, think back to those big moments that made you feel fulfilled and happy. Perhaps you’ve had some big milestone events, like the 40th birthday party when everyone gathered and made you feel so loved. Try to remember the big moments of “payoff” when the seeding and growth you put in during the previous seasons finally started to generate an outcome that felt tangible and real.
Five – Reflect On Your Periods of Rest
Lastly, you need to look back on your past seasons of winter, unless you’ve been repeatedly skipping winter and failing to rest and reflect as so many high achievers are prone to do. It’s understandable as the work of winter is quiet and private unlike the public parade of fall harvest. Don’t beat yourself up. This exercise is a great way to reflect on your past cycles so you can make decisions about what you want to take with you into your next season. If you’ve been habitually denying yourself time to rest and reflect, now’s the time to create intentional space to do that.
Once you’ve reflected on the seasons of your life, you’ll begin to see patterns and themes. No longer flying blind, you can make decisions rooted in your strengths instead of the approval or guidance of others. Upon reflection, you can decide what parts of your current life you want to take with you into your next season.