While most leaders treat one-on-one meetings as routine checkpoints, employees often come to them hoping for something more meaningful than a basic update. Flipping the script means shifting the conversation from what the leader needs to cover to what a team member wants to talk about—a simple adjustment that can dramatically change the quality of the discussion.
When employees shape the one-on-one agenda, leaders can start to see beyond the data showing up on a dashboard to learn what’s actually getting in people’s way. Here, members of Forbes Coaches Council explore how to adjust the standard approach to one-on-ones to make these talks more productive and demonstrate true investment in the employee experience.
Transform Updates Into Meaningful Conversations
Too often, one-on-ones turn into status updates, which are best handled asynchronously. Instead, leaders can flip the script by using this time to coach their direct reports through challenges and decision-making. This helps employees build confidence and become more self-sufficient. One-on-ones should be dedicated to growth and meaningful conversations, not project check-ins. – Rebecca Mackenzie, The Confident Communication Coach
Let Employees Lead The Discussion
A one-to-one is for the employee, not the leader. As the leader, you may determine the structure (for example, every third one-on-one is a performance discussion), but the employee should be given the floor to share what’s working for them, what blockers they have and how you can help. The best one-to-ones are conversations driven by the employee managing up, leader-coaching and developing a path forward. – Meghan Hennessy, HUMKIND
Reframe Check-Ins As Realignment Opportunities
The most effective one-on-ones feel less like updates and more like ongoing handshake meetings—a chance to realign, not just report. I’ve seen leaders use this time to check assumptions, revisit priorities and surface what’s not being said. When trust and clarity are built in small, consistent moments, performance becomes the natural outcome. – Laurie Arron, Arron Coaching LLC
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Start By Defining The Immediate Value
Flip the script by starting one-on-ones with, “What needs to happen in the next 60 minutes for this to be worth your time?” This shifts the focus from reporting to the boss to empowering the employee to lead the discussion, boosting engagement, ownership and performance impact. – Sundae Schneider-Bean, Sundae Schneider-Bean GmbH
Begin With What Matters Most
Start with, “What’s most important for us to talk about today?” Then listen, coach and clear roadblocks. This simple shift turns one-on-ones from status updates into meaningful conversations, building trust, surfacing what matters and strengthening ownership. – Jessica Hill Holm, Hill Holm Coaching & Consulting
Invite Employees To Set The Agenda Up Front
A great leader empowers employees by asking them to create a list of topics they wish to discuss. By starting with the employee’s agenda, the leader not only shows respect for the employee’s priorities but also identifies any additional areas where support may be needed to drive their progress. This collaborative approach promotes a productive dialogue and helps the employee move forward with confidence. – Karen Tracy, Dr. Karen A Tracy, LLC
Create Space For Employees To Access What They Need
A one-on-one should be a time when the employee has access to you. Help employees come prepared by creating a framework and space where they can get from you what they need to be successful in the execution of their role, in their professional development and in building relationships within the organization. A good one-on-one is a combined mentoring and coaching session. – Michele Cohen, Lead to Growth Coaching
Assess Whether You’re Directing Or Developing
Leaders can ask themselves: “Am I spending the majority of the one-on-one time telling, directing and extracting what I want from a team member? Or am I leading with curiosity to build connections, listening more than talking and coaching for long-term development?” The latter approach builds stronger leaders on both sides of the relationship; the former stunts team and organizational growth. – Susan Parsons, Parsons Consulting
Incorporate Additional Quick Connections Weekly
Alongside their scheduled one-on-one meetings, incorporate more unscheduled, one- to 10-minute quick connections with employees every week, too. This provides a real-time pulse on their engagement, well-being and performance and increases all three. A virtual ping, an email or a walk-and-talk conversation to discuss what’s exciting them and what’s a barrier to their success goes a long way. – Jaclynn Robinson, Nine Muses Consulting, LLC
Focus On Employees’ Future Growth
One-on-ones are often wasted as transaction updates when they should be moments of transformation. In my experience, the most effective leaders use this time to focus on the employee’s future. A simple question—“What’s one thing I can do to better support your growth and future success?”—flips the script, turning check-ins into opportunities to focus on growth, trust and lasting engagement. – Rahul Karan Sharma, RahulKaranSharma.com
Request Feedback On Your Own Performance
Flip the script by asking for feedback about your performance as a leader. For example, ask, “What could I do to help the team perform at higher levels?” After the employee answers, follow up with a question like, “What can you do to help me with that?” This is beneficial because it reframes the employee’s thinking about performance and their role, providing a broader perspective and creating ownership. – Matt Herzberg, Principled Transformation LLC
Clarify And Empower Decision-Making Autonomy
Leaders can flip the script by turning one-on-ones from routine updates and task check-ins into empowerment sessions. Ask, “What decisions need my input? Where can you move forward without me?” Use your time together to explore what’s working well and where you can improve things together. Shifting from telling to empowering builds trust, confidence and accountability across the team. – Kathleen Shanley, Statice
Enter One-On-Ones Ready To Learn
Most leaders walk into one-on-ones thinking, “What do I need to tell them or check?” The most powerful leaders flip that script. They walk in asking, “What do I need to learn?” When a one-on-one becomes a space for showing genuine curiosity instead of performance tracking, something fundamental shifts: Trust and psychological safety grow, errors are reduced and people bring more of their strengths to work. – Daniela Rusu, Quantum Communication
Help Your Employee Own The Conversation
Flip the script by making the one-on-one their meeting, not yours. Ask, “What do you need from me to succeed?” Instead of status updates, focus on roadblocks, aspirations, hidden tensions and overlooked wins. I’ve tested this personally—and so have my clients over the past 12 years. When employees own the conversation, trust deepens, autonomy grows and execution sharpens; it is inevitable. – Carlos Hoyos, Elite Leader Institute
Apply Therapeutic Skills To Ensure Alignment
Every leader conducting one-on-ones needs a basic understanding of therapeutic skills. Things like motivational interviewing, reflection of feeling, reframing, and challenge skills are essential to developing the relationship with your team members and ensuring they are aligned and capable of achieving success. – Brittney Van Matre, Rewild Work Strategies
Prepare Separately; Prioritize Topics Together
A leader can flip the one-on-one script by preparing, and asking their employee to prepare, for the conversation. Each should come with three hot topics to address and the meeting should begin by comparing topics. They should prioritize what to discuss to make this a mutually beneficial meeting. The meeting should end with the leader asking, “What do you need from me to make you successful this week?” – Jill Helmer, Jill Helmer Consulting
Lead With Humanity
Start one-on-ones by asking how your employee is doing, not just how the work is going. Be human because a human connection builds trust. Let them lead the agenda to create ownership and engagement. Replace task-based check-ins with forward-focused dialogue: “What do you want to do next and how can I support you?” Use open-ended questions and invite feedback to foster genuine collaboration and growth. – Andrea Hrusovska, HR4U Solutions LLC