Things Parents Should Do
1) Be honest with your kids about restrictions and needs. If there is only so much money to go around, if there are geographic restrictions, or if there is anything that may restrict college choices, communicate these factors to your child and the counselor.
2) Listen, listen, and listen! Hear what your kids are saying. What is important to them? Don’t tell your kids what you think until you’ve heard what they think.
3) Keep an open mind. Colleges have changed dramatically since we went to school. Don’t rely on impressions based on old stereotypes. Realize that there are some great schools you may never have heard of.
4) Move away from a pecking order mentality. The best college for your child may not be the most competitive to get into or the highest on some college list.
5) Sometime in the spring of the junior year, sit down with your child and set up a calendar of when each part of the process will be completed. Set up a schedule of college visits, a testing schedule, and deadlines for completing essay drafts, final essays, supplements and all applications. Please have your child recommend the deadlines instead of imposing them. They will almost always make them more rigorous than you would.
6) Read over your child’schild’s essay. See if it communicates who they are, how well they think, and how well they write.
7) Make sure your child has a college that is both a financial safety school as well as an admissions safety school.
8) Pick one evening a week to talk about college admissions and do not discuss it at other times.
9). Do drive-throughs of college campuses when traveling. Talking to teenagers about colleges is like talking to someone blind about colors- they have no perspective. Expose your child to a variety of options.
10) Ask questions to help your child: What size, location, major, or climate suits them best. College satisfaction is determined most by students feeling comfortable with the other students. Try to get your child to articulate who their “peeps’ are how to find colleges where they may find them.
Things Parents Should Not Do
1) Don’t micromanage the process. Occasionally, make sure your kids are on track to meet deadlines but don’t nag them. If you’re concerned that your child isn’t on track, call their counselor and let them help get them moving.
2) Don’t talk to other parents about where your kid is applying.
3) Don’t let any deadlines lapse, especially about financial aid.
4) Don’t add your voice to your child’s essay. Content and style suggestions should not include re-writing what your child has written.
5) Don’t get caught up in the college frenzy. Just because your child’s peers are getting SAT prep and private counseling, you don’t need to get this as well.
6) Don’t try to create an ”image” for your child. Don’t try to “package” your child. Don’t try to do something special between a junior and senior year to try to make your child an attractive college candidate. Colleges want students to have depth and breadth of experiences. Foster what your child wants to do and has a talent for. Don’t try to create something that sounds good.
The bottom line is that the goal of college admissions is to find a match between what the student needs and what the college offers.