In a world increasingly driven by artificial intelligence, how we interact with technology may seem trivial—until you consider the cost. According to OpenAI CEO Sam Altman in a post on X, common courtesies like saying “please” and “thank you” in prompts have cost the company a considerable amount of money. These pleasantries, while seemingly benign, take extra processing power, increasing electricity use and, ultimately, expense. But what if those extra words aren’t just fluff? What if, instead of being wasteful, those small, human gestures are actually the key to working effectively with AI?
The High Cost Of Being Polite To AI
AI tools like ChatGPT, Gemini, and Claude process massive volumes of information with every user interaction. Because large language models (LLMs) run on server farms that consume vast amounts of energy, every additional word counts toward compute time and energy consumption. Altman’s comment–discounting your mother’s sage advice–was an honest observation of actual costs. But it sparked an important conversation about how we interact with AI, and whether politeness should be sacrificed in the name of efficiency.
While it’s true that being polite adds characters to a prompt and might increase energy consumption, the benefits of those extra words outweigh the costs—especially when you consider the quality of the results. Here’s why.
AI Interaction Is A Conversation, Not A Command Line
Many people approach AI like they’re searching in Google: enter a few keywords, hit enter, and hope for a useful output. But generative AI isn’t a search engine. It’s a partner in problem-solving. And like any partner, the quality of your interaction matters.
One of the most overlooked best practices when using AI tools is to treat AI like a person. Thats one of 17 simple AI best practices that make AI interactions more meaningful. Approaching AI like a human interaction doesn’t mean attributing emotions or consciousness to your chatbot, but rather engaging in a thoughtful, respectful conversation. Just like you wouldn’t bark vague instructions at an intern or colleague and expect stellar results, you shouldn’t expect great responses from AI when you treat it like a search engine.
Approach AI like a collaborative partner and you’ll be more likely to include phrases like “please write this in a more conversational tone” or “thank you, that was helpful—now can you reframe it for a younger, more tech-savvy audience?” These courtesies naturally extend from a more human-centered approach to interacting with technology. And as it turns out, they often lead to significantly better outcomes.
Politeness As A Productivity Tool
When you engage in a conversational way, AI responds more precisely and thoroughly. That reduces the need for repeated prompting, rephrasing, and clarification—saving you time and improving overall efficiency.
In this context, politeness isn’t just about being nice. It’s a strategic choice that helps:
- Clarify your intent
- Make requests more specific
- Create continuity across follow-ups
- Yield higher-quality results
Rather than a drain on resources, this approach actually optimizes AI interactions, reducing the need for rework. Over time, that translates to faster outcomes and better results—making your AI interaction more energy-efficient, not less.
The Psychology Of Manners
But there’s another angle to this: how it makes us feel. Our brains are wired for social interaction. Even when we know we’re speaking to a machine, our default behaviors kick in. We’re more comfortable, more open, and often more articulate when we engage respectfully—even if our conversation partner is made of silicon and copper instead of flesh and bones.
According to a December 2024 study by Future, the media company behind TechRadar, about 67% of U.S. AI users report being polite to AI tools. In the UK, the number is slightly higher at 71%. Interestingly, 12% of respondents admitted that they are polite to AI out of fear. They worry that rudeness might come back to haunt them if AI systems ever become more autonomous (that’s a topic for a future article).
While that fear might seem like science fiction, it underscores how deeply we internalize the rules of human interaction—even when we know the entity we’re engaging with isn’t human. That instinctive response might actually be working in our favor. And it comes with one added benefit. Your interaction with AI tools will likely increase over time. If you don’t extend these to your AI partner, that lack of politesse could rub off on your interactions with your human partners, and no one wants to live in a world without that type of civility.
From Command And Control To Collaboration And Conversation
The shift from one-way commands to two-way collaboration is one of the most important evolutions in human-computer interaction. Treating AI as a partner, not a tool, is not just more productive—it’s more aligned with the reality of the way these platforms are designed to work. They’re trained on human conversation, after all. They’re built to engage in nuance, context, and dialogue. When we embrace that reality, stop reducing our prompts to search terms, and start treating them like conversations, we can maximize the power of generative AI.
What This Means For AI Integration In Business
When we were all thrown into remote work and endless online meetings during Covid, companies didn’t have time to teach employees how to make the most of these digital interactions. As a result, many people never learned the skills or adopted the mindsets necessary to engage effectively in virtual interactions. For organizations embracing AI, the takeaway is clear: teach your teams how to talk to AI like they would to a trusted teammate. Encourage full sentences. Promote clarity and tone. Reward curiosity. And importantly, support a little old-fashioned politeness. Doing so not only improves outcomes, it builds a culture of thoughtful communication—something that can ripple across the organization beyond just your AI use. The communication skills that are essential today have evolved, and being able to communicate with AI is a critical one. By training teams AI best practices, companies will help them think more clearly about what they’re asking for, which can lead to better strategy, clearer project scope, and faster execution.
Be Polite To AI To Yield Better Results
Yes, saying “please” and “thank you” to AI may increase operational costs, but the return on that investment is real. Higher-quality responses, faster turnaround, and a more enjoyable interaction are just the start. The real win is in how it helps us become better communicators, clearer thinkers, and more effective problem solvers. The next time you type a prompt, don’t worry if it’s a little long. Add the context. Set the tone. Say “please” when you ask. Say “thank you” when you’re done, because in the age of AI, good manners aren’t just polite—they’re productive.
William Arruda is a keynote speaker, author, and personal branding pioneer. Join him as he discusses clever strategies for using AI to express and expand your brand in Maven’s free Lightning Lesson. If you can’t attend live, register to receive the replay.