It’s awful. What I’m about to write is just plain awful. But, I think it’s necessary. I think leaders deserve to know the truth. Do your employees think you’re amazing? Or, do they simply collect a paycheck in return for hatred?
Listen, I’m not a pessimistic guy. Look at all my previous posts. I’m typically wound up by the best new idea, product, and culture. I like to write about the power of hope. I made a career out of teaching the power of appreciation. I geek out about this stuff. Anyone who’s ever been on call with me knows I’m a happiness dork—some may even call it glee.
Yea, but that’s not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about tyrants—awful bosses. You might be one, but you’ll never know it because you’ve created a fear-based culture where no employee will ever tell you the truth.
Still reading? Then, this might be you.
“It’s a facade,” a former coworker told me, two weeks after I got hired. “The CEO talks a lot about caring of people, but he’s literally the most abusive person I’ve ever met.” Yea. This guy was a senior employee. He wasn’t wrong. The CEO was insufferable. And, everyone was joking about it behind his back.
Should I tell him? I didn’t.
“If it doesn’t look good for her, don’t do it,” another coworker told me at a different organization. “The woman is a power-hungry clown. She has no clue what she’s doing.” Yea, these words also came from another senior employee who had spent 12 years with the company.
Should I have told her? I didn’t.
“I wouldn’t get involved if I were you,” said the senior admin of a former client. “I don’t care how much he’s paying you. The guy is a horrible human being.” Huh? This woman was literally the founder’s right hand. Why was she still there if he was so awful?
Should I have listened? I did.
Of course, I could tell plenty of stories about bad bosses and clients and their tyrannical outbursts. I actually have recordings of some. But, I also have countless other stories to tell as well—as I’ve interviewed thousands of people about their careers and their bosses.
As you may have noticed, I haven’t shared any names, or companies. And, I won’t. Why? Shouldn’t the truth be told? It actually should. But, it shouldn’t come from me in a public forum. It should come from the employees—and should be kept internal. Even tyrants deserve to know the truth without being publicly humiliated.
What’s my point? And, what can you learn from this?
If you’re a tyrant, you’re not getting the best from your employees. You’re not getting the commitment you’re trying to force. You’re not getting the effort you’re trying to motivate. And, while you may be able to generate short-term results by scaring people, your long-term results (as will your turnover) will suffer. And, you’re NOT hearing the truth.
Here’s the rub—and this kinda makes things a sticky situation. Employees often don’t have the guts to tell tyrants that they’re an awful boss, however, employees who have an amazing leader, also may never share their appreciation either. Why? Because they’ve done such a great job that the employees have nothing to complain about.
So, how do you, as a leader, truly know the difference? If employees aren’t telling you the truth because they’re scared, or employees aren’t saying anything because they have no complaints, how should you know where you land? It’s actually quite simple. Grab a mirror and analyze yourself.
Are you a great leader, or a leadership tyrant? Ask yourself these 5 critical questions.
- Is negative feedback okay? If it’s not okay, you might be a tyrant. However, it’s also important to note that negative feedback is often just a suggestion of how a project or process could be improved. What if you’re overlooking potential because you’re offended that someone who works for you wants to improve your results? Seems silly, right?
- Can someone else be smarter than you? Yep. You’re the boss. You’ve earned that title. But, do you honestly believe that makes you the smartest person in the room? If you answered yes, I want to challenge you. Did you ever have a boss that was less intelligent than you? Of course you did. And, you have employees (if you’re hiring the best) that could teach you a thing or two. You should want all your employees to be smarter than you.
- Are you consistently looking for ways to manipulate people? This is a horrible question. But, is it true? Inspiration, engagement, and motivation are seemingly positive terminology. But, do you truly understand your intentions when using this terminology? And, the bigger question is, do you care? Do you honestly care about the people you’re trying to motivate, and their needs. If you don’t, you’re a tyrant…or at least a hypocrite.
- Do you honestly know anything personal about your employees? Sure, you can fake this. But, if you do, your employees know it. In fact, trying to know something personal, without actually caring, makes you worse. I was laid off from a company. My former boss would call me, or at least text me, on my birthday every year and ask about my kids. He knew their names, although he had never met them. He was not a tyrant.
- What do you actually care about? Think about this. The word ‘Care’ has a big, contextual, definition. You can say you care about people. You can say you care about their careers. You can say you care about their families, their passions, and their pastimes. But, if you only truly care about the effort they give to you, you’re not only a tyrant, but also an awful human—which, I’m sure exposes itself in other aspects of your life.
What are people saying behind your back?
I’ve asked this question to many leaders throughout the years. Many show concern, and they ask “Do you think my employees hate me?” Others, however, have a different response, “I don’t care if they’re talking behind my back.” And, that response makes you a tyrant. Why? Because it literally shows you don’t care about your people—their needs, opinions, or wellbeing.
Nutshell?
Being a tyrant actually works in business. It honestly does. BUT, the results are short-lived. Why? When you make people miserable, scared, stressed, or overwhelmed, those people ultimately leave. However, sometimes the best (most-respected) leaders also fail. Why? I hate to say it, but deadlines, progress, and performance isn’t a game of making friends.
Honestly, the best leaders know when they need to be tyrants, and know when they need to be friends. And, it’s not easy to be both. Most people struggle with being both. But, those who figure out the right balance, approach, and demeanor become leadership icons.
BTW…I’d LOVE to hear stories of your tyrannical bosses in the comments. BUT, let’s keep names and companies out of your comments. Just tell the story. Believe me. Karma will take care of the rest. Miserable people are miserable. Let misery take it’s own toll.
I seek to find the best in/of people.