When The Imposter Syndrome Stunts Your Growth

Matt is a great guy. I’ve been coaching him for a couple of years now, and in our work together, I’ve found him to be incredibly competent and capable in the industrial manufacturing space. He hails from a very humble Midwestern upbringing and has worked hard to accomplish every personal and professional milestone.

We were introduced several years ago by John, his then-EVP, who promoted him to his first VP role. “I want him to develop more of a presence, become surer of himself, particularly in gatherings of other leaders. He’s very bright – just reluctant to speak up and make a case for what he believes to be the right path forward for us,” John shared with me.

So, for the past two years, Matt and I have met weekly to discuss his progress, what’s going well in his world, and where he has been struggling. I’ve been to his home and met his wonderful family, as he has met mine. You could say I’ve developed a fondness for him, so I share this article with both his permission and out of love for who he is as a person. I don’t want anything from him. What I want for him is to muster up the courage to lead in the way we all believe he is capable and are cheering for him to show up as the best version of himself.

Leadership, at its core, is about influencing others toward achieving a common mission or vision or fighting a common enemy. However, an often-unspoken challenge that many leaders face is the crippling effect of imposter syndrome. This psychological pattern causes individuals to doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a “fraud.” It’s a paradox where success, instead of bringing confidence, breeds anxiety and uncertainty. In researching my book, Relationship Economics, 3^rd edition (Wiley, 2023), I interviewed hundreds of executives and saw, in more than a dozen instances, how the imposter syndrome can not only stunt their individual growth but also adversely impact the cultivation of valuable relationships and networks that are essential for successful leadership.

It’s not uncommon for high achievers like Matt to experience these feelings. In working with Matt, we’ve prioritized the first crucial step in overcoming imposter syndrome, which is acknowledging its presence. When I’ve asked him how his last leadership presentation went on the strategic change management initiative he’s leading (brilliantly, by the way), and he responds “Fine,” you know his doubts overshadow his abilities. Leadership is as much about perception as it is about reality, and this cloud of fear, uncertainty, and doubt (FUD) hinders his growth. As such, we’ve discussed how vital it is for him to confront these feelings and understand their root causes.

One of the most effective ways to combat imposter syndrome is through the power of relationships. Your network can serve as a mirror, reflecting your true abilities and accomplishments. When Matt and I speak each week, when he connects with his peers or team members, and they all rave about him, the feedback and support help reaffirm his skills and achievements. This external validation, while not a remedy in itself, certainly provides a more realistic perspective of his capabilities.

Moreover, embracing a mindset of continuous learning is crucial. Matt read the concept of Adaptive Innovation in my book – the idea that successful individuals and organizations are constantly learning and adapting. When we discussed the applications of the idea in his division’s growth strategy, he came to accept that not knowing everything is part of his leadership journey, and that realization has alleviated the pressure that previously fed his imposter syndrome. Matt’s continuous learning mindset now encourages his curiosity and openness, traits that are vital for him to become a more innovative leader.

Another key aspect of our work together over the past two years has been to help Matt redefine his definition of failure. Imposter syndrome often stems from a fear of making mistakes and being judged. However, Matt has come around to seeing intelligent mistakes, as my friend and Thinkers50 colleague, Amy Edmondson of Harvard Business School, shares in her most recent book, Right Kind of Wrong (Atria Books, 2023), as invaluable investments in his personal learnings and professional growth as a leader. Each misstep is an opportunity to grow and strengthen his leadership skills. By reframing his approach to failure, he has reduced the fear and self-doubt that often fuel imposter syndrome.

One of the more challenging aspects of our coaching work together has been to help Matt practice self-compassion. This essential practice is really difficult for men. Ever since many of us were young boys, we’ve been taught to be competitive, hard on ourselves in our performance, driven to succeed in every endeavor, and “only your best will do!” mantras from loving parents to well-intended sports coaches. What Matt has learned that alludes many leaders still is that being a leader no longer means that you have to be perfect. I’ve learned from Matt’s wife in our casual conversations that when he shows himself the same kindness and understanding he offers others, he recognizes his humanity and gives himself the space to grow and improve.

Lastly, Matt and I have also worked extensively to focus on his unique value proposition. He’s an exceptional operator – focused, financially astute, relationally warm, and engaging. He loves and goes to incredible bat for his people, constantly raises his hand to tackle new initiatives, and brings an unparalleled work ethic to excellence in his work. No wonder he and his leadership team have grown their business by 58% YOY in an economy fraught with headwinds. By leaning into what makes you different as a leader, your particular strengths, and experiences, you not only affirm your self-worth but also contribute uniquely to your organization and your relationships.

Matt has done exactly that. That’s why I’m over the moon to see him recognized for his well-earned promotion to Senior Vice-President this past week. Couldn’t happen to a nicer, more well-deserving leader.

In conclusion, overcoming imposter syndrome is not about eliminating self-doubt entirely but about managing it effectively. As leaders, we must recognize the impact it has on our growth and our ability to build and leverage crucial relationships. By confronting these feelings, embracing continuous learning, redefining failure, practicing self-compassion, and focusing on our unique strengths, we can overcome the shackles of imposter syndrome and thrive as effective, confident leaders. Remember, leadership is a journey, not a destination, and it’s through these challenges that we grow the most.