In the modern workplace, technical skills and experience can take you far—but self-awareness and understanding others can take you further.
That’s the premise of Personality Intelligence: Master the Art of Being You, a new book by Merrick Rosenberg, a longtime expert on behavioral styles and leadership development. His framework offers a fresh, accessible way to navigate the complex web of human personalities that define our professional and personal relationships.
“The first part of understanding personality intelligence,” Rosenberg says, “is to delve deeply into your style, recognizing your innate gifts and tendencies. But personality intelligence goes beyond self-awareness. You also need to be able to quickly identify the style of others. When you understand your own style and that of others, you can avoid imposing your style on them. This allows you to treat people the way they need to be treated.”
That, he says, is where the magic happens—when self-knowledge expands into mastery. “People with a high level of personality intelligence master not only their own style but also all styles,” Rosenberg explains. “This gives them the ultimate flexibility to adapt to different people and situations.”
From Letters to Birds
Rosenberg’s model draws on the familiar tradition of personality typing, but with a twist. Instead of using letters or acronyms, he teaches with birds—a metaphor that, he says, helps people remember and apply the concepts more easily.
“For 15 years, I taught people the four styles by using letters to represent each style,” Rosenberg says. “I would then return to work with the group a few weeks later, and they could barely remember the word that the letters represented or the traits they comprised. When I shifted to using birds as a metaphor to symbolize the styles, people remembered them and started applying them in their lives.”
The symbolism is intuitive. “In my system, the Eagle is results-oriented, takes charge, and is self-assured. Parrots are social, enthusiastic, and optimistic. Doves are harmonious, caring, and compassionate. And Owls are logical, precise, and questioning.”
Once people identify their bird—or combination of birds—they begin to recognize patterns in how they communicate, solve problems, and interact with others.
Awareness vs. Mastery
Rosenberg draws a clear distinction between simply being aware of one’s style and actually mastering it. “There’s a difference between knowing you’re an Eagle and mastering the Eagle style,” he says. “Recognizing that you are direct and assertive is one thing, but learning to bring your style into balance is another. When an Eagle balances confidence with humility, and directness with sensitivity, they step into the full power of their style.”
That kind of balance, he argues, is what separates good leaders from great ones.
Personality in Motion
One of the more intriguing aspects of Rosenberg’s philosophy is the idea that while personality may be “hardwired,” style can evolve. “The role we take on or the environment we work in can significantly influence who we are,” he notes. He describes an analytical Owl who’s invited to join sales calls. “At first, it’s awkward. But gradually, she becomes comfortable presenting her work and even enjoys speaking to groups. As a result, her personality evolves, and she becomes more outgoing. Her experiences have shaped her.”
That adaptability, he says, is a hallmark of high personality intelligence.
Stress and Style
Stress, Rosenberg explains, reveals our true nature—and sometimes distorts it. “When people are stressed, they tend to become more of their true selves. Basically, their personality is amplified. Eagles become more assertive, while Parrots grow more enthusiastic. Doves internalize stress so they don’t negatively impact others, while Owls aim to understand what’s happening. However, under intense stress, people often become the opposite of who we normally are. Eagles let go of control, while Doves take charge. Parrots become quiet, and Owls let go of the small stuff to fix the bigger issues.”
Understanding these tendencies can help leaders manage tension more effectively—and with greater empathy.
Leading Across Styles
The same principle applies to leadership. “The biggest mistake leaders make,” Rosenberg warns, “is creating an environment where they will thrive instead of one where everyone can thrive.”
He explains that each bird-type leader brings strengths—and blind spots. “Parrots foster an upbeat, motivational culture. But Owls in that environment may feel lost. Meanwhile, Owls establish a structured, rule-based culture where Parrots might feel constrained or micromanaged. Eagle leaders focus on results and build environments centered on achievement. Doves may feel uncared for in such a culture, as they tend to create nurturing and supportive environments.”
The best leaders, he says, “build environments in which everyone can be themselves and harness the power of their personality.”
From Conflict to Connection
When it comes to resolving conflict, Rosenberg believes personality intelligence is indispensable. “Our styles become very clear during conflicts,” he says. “Imagine an Eagle and a Dove having a disagreement. Eagles confront problems directly and openly state the issue. This may contradict the Dove’s desire to create harmony and alleviate their concerns. The Dove might leave that interaction feeling disrespected, while the Eagle may believe the issue was left unresolved.”
Similarly, when a free-spirited Parrot clashes with a data-driven Owl, the gap in decision-making styles can quickly widen. But, Rosenberg adds, “when you understand each other’s styles, you gain insight into how they think, communicate, make decisions, and handle conflict. Drama fades as it is replaced by acceptance.”
In a world where miscommunication is easy and understanding is rare, Rosenberg’s message feels especially timely: success depends not just on what you know or even who you know—but on how well you understand yourself and others. That, in his view, is the true mark of personality intelligence.