How to help your child learn how to recognize hate speech and know what to do when they encounter it.
Hate speech is harmful for individuals and society
It’s hard not to notice that hate speech is on the rise in the United States — in the media, online and in our communities. It’s our job as parents to make sure our children have a firm grasp on what hate speech is, why it’s harmful for individuals and society as a whole, and what to do about it when they encounter it.
Hate speech has a long history; the growth of online communications means that it can now spread far and fast. The loosening of content moderation policies on social media platforms has also contributed to a rise in misinformation and harmful content. Whether in person or online, almost all children and young people will come into contact with hate speech at some point.
What is hate speech?
Hate speech is any kind of communication in speech, writing or behavior that attacks or discriminates against a person or group’s identity, such as religion, ethnicity, nationality, race, color, descent, disability, age, gender or sexual orientation. Hate speech can also include other “identity factors,” like language, economic or social origin, or health status.
Hate speech isn’t just words. It can happen in person and online and can be expressed in many ways, including images, cartoons, games, videos, objects, gestures and symbols.
It aims to provoke an emotional response like fear, distress, isolation or intimidation in its target, and to spread hatred in society, even inciting abuse and violence. It is often aimed at historically vulnerable and marginalized groups.
How are children affected by hate speech?
Children and young people are particularly vulnerable to hate speech, both online and in person. When children hear or read hate speech aimed at them directly or a part of their identity — such as their race, color or gender — it can make them feel like there is something wrong about them. This can impact their self-esteem and can lead to a deterioration of their mental health, such as experiencing feelings of anxiety and depression, even thoughts about self-harm and suicide.
Hate speech can incite violence and there are many examples where it has led to people, including children, being attacked and killed.
Hate speech vs free speech
Freedom of expression is a human right. Tackling hate speech protects this right.
It’s possible to disagree with or criticize an individual or group without threatening their well-being and safety. Hate speech limits freedom of expression as those targeted by hateful language do not feel safe expressing themselves freely.
Sometimes people try to disguise their hate speech as “humor.” There’s nothing funny about demeaning or threatening others.
Watch out for trolls
“Trolling” is when someone posts or comments online to provoke a reaction from others. Trolling aims to disrupt, get attention and cause distress. It becomes hate speech when the actions promote hatred and discrimination against a person or group’s identity, such as their gender, race or sexual orientation.
People involved in trolling will often hide behind fake names or post anonymously, making it difficult for them to be identified.
Educating your child about hate speech
Conversations about issues like hate, racism, sexism and xenophobia can be uncomfortable for many parents. The more you talk to your children about these topics, the more comfortable they will be to come to you if they experience it.
Find opportunities to talk about these issues in your daily life. For example, if something relevant comes up on TV, you could ask your child what they know about the topic and what they think about it. If your child is not familiar with the history of a certain topic, use it as an opportunity to explore it together using reliable sources.
Remember: You know your child best. Use age-appropriate language, listen to them without interrupting and encourage them to ask you any questions. Watch their reactions and be sensitive to their level of anxiety.
Explain to your child that everyone has a right to be safe in society and treated with dignity and respect. Hate speech is always wrong and all of us share a responsibility to reject it.
Questions to explore together
Explore together what hate speech is, so your child can identify it, whether it happens to them or someone else. Here are some questions you can consider together:
- What do you think hate speech is?
- Who is hate speech aimed at?
- Why do you think people use hate speech?
- How does it make you feel?
- How do you think it makes the targeted person or people feel?
- How do you think the person who uses the hate speech feels?
Encourage your children to have an open attitude and honest curiosity about other people because some instances of hate speech are based on ignorance or false information. Sometimes children (and adults) use hateful language thinking it is funny or not understanding the meaning behind it. If this happens with your child, use it as an opportunity to explain why their words are inappropriate and can be hurtful.
Teach your children about the difference between intent and impact — that what we say can hurt others even if we didn’t mean to.
With younger children, you can introduce the topic by talking about fairness and about treating others as they want to be treated. With older children, you can explore historical examples to see how hate speech has set the stage for many conflicts and human rights violations.
The United Nations offers a useful collection of historical examples that show how hate speech has led to violence.
Encourage kindness, tolerance and mutual respect
We all want our children to grow up in a world where they are met with kindness and respect, and encouraged to reach their full potential. Children who learn respect for others from a young age are more likely to build a society that acknowledges the fundamental rights of every child, a world where everyone matters and everyone is welcome.
Learn more about what to do when children encounter hate speech