A new study by Empower found that 62% of Americans say money conversations make them uncomfortable. This silence comes at a cost—fueling stress, conflict and even eroding relationships.
I know this firsthand. In my former marriage, we avoided financial discussions entirely. When I would ask my then-husband if we could talk about our money, he’d say, “Why? We have no money. There’s nothing to talk about.” Those rare conversations we did have were tense, heated, and rooted in fear. We lived in financial denial—overspending, under-planning and growing more disconnected. Ultimately, our inability to talk about money contributed to the dissolution of our marriage.
After my divorce, I realized I could no longer afford to be financially avoidant. Taking responsibility for my money as a single mother was both daunting and empowering. I began talking openly about finances with friends, advisors, colleagues, and eventually, my new partner. Today, my husband Jason and I share equal responsibility for our finances, with transparency, systems and conversations that include our adult children. Talking about money no longer feels scary—it feels liberating.
And I’ve seen how transformative these conversations can be not only in my own life but also in the lives of my clients and audiences. In my corporate training on financial mindset, I’ve anonymously polled thousands of professionals across industries. On average, about 25% identify with “money avoidance” as their dominant money script—a deeply ingrained belief about finances.
The Price of Money Avoidance
To better understand why money is still so hard to talk about—and how we can change that—I spoke with Ellen Rogin, CPA, CFP, bestselling author of Picture Your Prosperity and Messages from Money. Rogin built and sold a successful wealth management firm after more than 25 years advising clients.
“Not talking about money carries a high cost,” Rogin emphasizes. “It creates stress that spills into mental health, marriages, careers and financial security.” In an effort to help others prevent paying the price of money avoidance, she draws on her financial expertise and intuitive guidance to empower individuals and organizations to have open, productive conversations about money.
Why Money Conversations Are So Difficult
“Our attitudes, thoughts and beliefs about money are formed very early,” Rogin explains. “We learn whether money is something to talk about or to avoid based on what we saw and heard growing up. When I asked my father as a teenager how much money he made, he said, ‘Oh honey, we don’t talk about that.’ So I learned: we don’t talk about that.”
When we enter financial conversations with partners, friends, or colleagues, Rogin notes, everyone brings these unspoken rules and money upbringings to the table. She says these rules often include ideas about what “should” or “shouldn’t” be said or done with money. Rogin adds that layers of shame people feel if they believe they are not doing well enough, past financial trauma, or simply differences in values and experiences can cause money talks to quickly go off track or feel very uncomfortable.
The Gender Gap
Rogin is especially passionate about dismantling money silence for women. “Money arguments are one of the leading causes of divorce,” she says, “which makes sense if nearly half of couples don’t even know each other’s income.” A 2024 Fidelity study found that 43% of people do not know their partner’s salary.
The silence extends beyond relationships. A 2025 UK survey found that only 20% of women feel comfortable talking about money, compared to 28% of men. “This gap in confidence can keep women from asking important questions, negotiating pay, or fully engaging in financial decisions,” Rogin explains. “When women step into money conversations, they build their own strength while shifting the dynamic for families and communities.”
Generational Shifts
While Rogin acknowledges that money silence has long been the norm, she sees progress among younger generations. “Younger people are often more willing to discuss salaries, debt and investing,” she observes. “Regardless of age, the best way to break the taboo is to model open conversations ourselves—sharing lessons learned, asking thoughtful questions and showing that money talks don’t have to be judgmental or scary.”
Five Steps to Break the Silence
Rogin offers practical ways to start talking about money more openly:
- Start with self-awareness. Notice your own money stories and language. Pay attention to the beliefs you carry from childhood about what can and cannot be talked about, and ask yourself if those beliefs are still serving you.
- Have intentional conversations at home. Discuss not just numbers but the feelings and values behind them. Rogin says a helpful starting point is simply asking, “How does your financial stress impact other areas of your life, such as your relationships, health, and career?”
- Ask better questions. Try prompts like, “What financial goal have you been hesitant to share?”, “How might you get in your own way in reaching your financial goals?” or, “What specific action could you take that would make a significant positive difference in your financial life?” Share your own answers too.
- Replace judgment with curiosity. Instead of assuming your way is the right way to handle money, try to understand where others are coming from. Seek to understand others’ money experiences instead of judging. Practice empathy and create a safe space yourselves and the next generation to carry these conversations forward with confidence.
- Bring in a third party. Advisors, coaches or therapists can make difficult conversations easier and more productive.
Get Started Today
To make talking about money more approachable, Rogin created her Money Talks! Cards—conversation starters designed to help families, partners, and teams talk about money in ways that are meaningful and productive. Personally, I bought a deck for myself and my husband to use, and purchased four more for each of our young adult children and gave them as stocking stuffers. The cards are a fun and easy way to get comfortable talking about money.
“One of my favorite questions from the Money Talks! Cards is: ‘What financial secret are you ready to come clean about?’” Rogin shares. “Secrets about debt, spending, or income keep people isolated. When you bring them into the open, you find relief, support, and solutions.”
Final takeaway from Rogin: “Being honest about money, even the uncomfortable parts, is essential for building stronger relationships and a healthier financial future.”