Getting more? That title sounds a bit greedy. And, in certain ways, it is. But, we must learn to understand our own definitions of “more.”You want more of what?
Stick with me. This gets interesting.
There’s a ton of information floating around the internet, in articles, in books, and on podcasts about ‘getting more.’ There are sales gurus that will teach you how to get more from your clients. There are investment gurus that will teach you how to get more out of your investments. Their are gobs of culture gurus telling you how to ‘get more’ from your employees. And, yes, you could argue that ‘getting more’ is the point of business.
…but is it?
Rewind twenty years. I was a young writer. I was scrappy. I was hungry. And, I had been hired as the Editor of recruitment-focused magazine. Yes, I was interviewing recruiters and HR professionals around the country. Yes, I was interviewing C-Suite leaders from big companies. But, I wanted to ‘get more.’ Money wasn’t my focus. I wanted to get more eyeballs, readers, and subscribers. But, it still was all very selfish.
Why do you care?
Why do you, as a leader, care about about my thought-process of ‘getting more’ over twenty years ago? Because this is where one man taught me the lesson between the correlation between ‘getting’ and ‘giving.’
Back then, I wanted to ‘get’ the most famous thought leaders, bestselling authors, and gurus in the business space in our magazine. I wanted to capture the audiences of people and companies that I wanted to read the magazine. And, in my mind, Dr. Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits for Highly Successful People (one of the most celebrated business books ever) was at the top of my list.
What would I ‘get’ from an interview with Covey? I thought I’d get a lot of eyeballs and interest. And, I did. But, I also ‘got’ something I didn’t expect—an insight into ‘giving.’
If reciprocity is defined by the sharing of equal value, Dr. Covey changed my perception of the definition. Sure, I had pitched his team on the value I could create for him. I pitched the size of the subscription base we had accrued. I pitched the fact that I would supply professional photographers and videographers. And, I pitched the fact that I was reaching an audience that he probably was attempting to reach anyway.
I was granted a 30 minute interview. And, Covey’s team told me, “No more. No less.”
Of course, I wanted to ‘get more.’ Of course, I saw this interview as an opportunity to boost my own status. And, I had only half an hour to do it. Research done? Check. Questions written? Check. Shirt ironed? Check. I thought I was ready. Well, until I walked into Dr. Covey’s lobby. And, although I’m not a nervous guy, I instantly became nervous. Why?
In the lobby were photos of Dr. Covey with U.S. Presidents. In the lobby, were photos of Dr. Covey with celebrities like Oprah. In the lobby were photos of Dr. Covey with world leaders. He even had a photo with the Dalai Lama. Can anyone say…”eek”?
I was a nobody. I was just a kid trying to build a magazine.
Dr. Covey’s staff then said, “He’s ready for you.” My team and I were quickly escorted into his office. Again, …”eek”.
While my videographer set up his camera, I explained to Dr. Covey how grateful I was for him allowing us to interview him. I also asked if I could take some still photos for the magazine. He agreed. And, just a couple minutes later, I sat in a chair across from him, nervously ready to start the interview. “I know we have a strict timeline,” I said. “So, with all due respect, I hope you don’t mind if I just dive in to the questions.”
Covey smiled. And, I frantically dove into my first question.
I honestly don’t recall my first question. I believe it had something to do with the success of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. And, I probably spoke at the speed of an auctioneer.
However, as I was asking that first question, Dr. Covey raised his palm toward me. Maybe he sensed my anxiety. Or, maybe he had a different agenda in mind.
“Todd,” he said. “Before we get into all of your questions, I’d like to know more about you. I’d like to know about your family, your hobbies, and your goals.”
Huh? This man wanted to know about me? “Respectfully, we only have 30 minutes,” I responded.
Dr. Covey smiled again. “We have as much time as we need. I would like to learn about you.”
I interviewed Dr. Stephen Covey for more than three hours that day. The man gave me more than I ever imagined—business insight, performance insight, relationship and culture insight, and personal insight.
So, who got ‘more’ out of that interview? Well, I put him on the cover of a relatively small quarterly magazine. But, he changed my perspective of the value we create for others indefinitely. I realized why Dr. Stephen Covey had become such an icon—because he didn’t focus on getting, but instead he focused on giving.
Give Vs. Get—what are your intentions?
Since that conversation with Dr. Covey, my career evolved rapidly. I no longer saw employers as entities I could get something from, but instead organizations where I could create value. And, if I created enough value, I would be rewarded.
“People shouldn’t apply for jobs,” Dr. Covey told me. “They should choose the companies and the purposes they want to contribute to, and then figure out how they can add value.”
I never forgot that statement. In fact, I leaned on that advice as a filter for everything I’ve done since. But, how do you know if you’re truly giving someone something of great value? Well, that’s easy—it’s worth more than you get in return.
Is that fair? Shouldn’t reciprocity be equal? Was I able to give him as much value as he was giving me?
Listen, I’m not the brightest berry in the bunch, but I have realized a few things in my career that I believe are prolific to success (a definition I personally would describe as a meeting of financial security, purpose, and life-satisfaction).
Here’s what I’ve learned…
- Know the real beneficiary of your work. We all work for a boss. But, do you know who benefits the most from your work? Maybe the biggest influence you can have in this world is understanding the person who benefits most from your work. And, if you can truly understand your audience, your boss should be thrilled with your work.
- Understand that all the little things add value. You get paid to meet expectations. But, you’re real job—no matter what you do—is to create value that someone loves. How do you go the extra mile—for a client, a coworker, or a boss? The small stuff—your intentions—matter. Pay attention. Matter.
- Charge a fair price, but go the extra mile. All business is a transaction. You give something. They get something. However, if you can create an opportunity to give more, take it. Dr. Covey taught me this concept within minutes. When you feel someone is giving you more, you reciprocate.
- Actually care. Whoa! Hold on. This is big. And, it may be the biggest point of this article. If you don’t care about the dreams, goals, and aspirations of the person/business you’re working with, just stop. No monetary gain should test your value—ever.
- Quickly terminate transactional/toxic relationships. Dr. Covey didn’t teach me this, but life has taught it to me. However, I do remember Dr. Covey saying something like, (and I’m paraphrasing) “When you have an instinct about people, pay attention—and act.”
- Recognize the good intentions. Dr. Covey read me like an open book. He knew I was young. He knew I was hungry. And, he knew that granting me (a small magazine editor) was extremely valuable to my success. But, he also somehow saw my good intentions. Sure, I wanted eyeballs from readers. Of course, I wanted to grow subscriptions. But, when someone of Dr. Stephen Covey gives you three hours in front of a camera, he was showing me that he actually cared more about me (and people in general) than what he was getting in return.
Most of us have stories like this that changed our perspectives and ideologies on how we approach the world.
Dr. Covey is gone from this earth. And, has been for quite some time. But, his content still changes people’s lives on a daily basis. And, I was just lucky enough to experience it in person.