Father might know best, but he doesn’t know everything. For this Father’s Day, instead of a round of golf or a new tool, consider giving your dad something different — the gift of mentorship.
The concept of a younger person mentoring an older person is not a new one. Jack Welch of GE used reverse mentoring in the late 1990s to teach longtime employees about the emerging internet.
Reverse mentoring is a gift that Nicole Wen has shared with her father Peter Wen over the past few years as her career has taken off at AT&T, the company where her father also works. Their bond — which shifted from him doing the mentoring to a reverse-mentorship role — is reflective of the reality that parents can actually learn quite a bit from their children.
A Mentorship Begins
For the Wens, mentoring began in daily car rides. Peter and Nicole have always had a close father-daughter bond. But after Nicole started working at AT&T as an intern, they began commuting to work together. Daily traffic jams allowed them lots of time to discuss things — including their jobs.
“I knew I could always rely on my dad for anything that’s going on in my life, but spending so much time in the car with him giving me work advice definitely took our relationship to a different level,” Nicole said during our recent interview.
The Wen’s live in Frisco, Texas, and it often took them 60 to 90 minutes to commute each way to AT&T’s headquarters. In the joint interview, Peter added, “Our car ride conversations shifted to work organically. Nicole was an intern and working in a real job was a very new experience. So it was easy to chat with her about the company and her challenges.”
Nicole went on to do three summer internships at AT&T, and — after graduating from college — she stepped into a full-time job as a financial analyst. There were many car rides and plenty for her to learn.
As it turned out, there was a lot for her father to learn, as well. Incredibly, over time, the mentorship flipped where she began to mentor Peter by giving him tips that have helped him both on and off the job.
The Flip To Reverse Mentorship
One of the early pieces of advice Nicole had for Peter was to take advantage of networking opportunities. AT&T offers employees numerous networking opportunities through a web of voluntary Employee Groups (EGs), where employees with similar interests can connect and discuss personal and professional growth opportunities.
At the start of her career, Nicole joined AT&T’s InspirASIAN EG — an employee networking group for Asian/Pacific Islanders that fosters development and leadership opportunities for its members. The EG provided Nicole with an opportunity to meet other professionals and expand her professional network. She could also bounce ideas off others she felt would be supportive of her career.
Nicole liked the EG so much she suggested her dad get more involved, too. Peter had been a member, but hadn’t been interested in participating before, because the EG was typically attended by younger AT&T employees. But Nicole convinced Peter to become a more active member of the group.
One of the things Peter has found rewarding is seeing how much value he can provide to the younger employees. He even began to mentor other AT&T employees — something from which he has derived a lot of satisfaction.
However, Peter has also appreciated the advice he received from the younger AT&T employees. “To be honest, I have found it rewarding.” He shared one of the benefits he has seen is from taking Nicole’s advice to network more. “I am much more comfortable getting out of my comfort zone — a benefit that extends far beyond the advantages of simply going to a networking group.”
The Reciprocal Value Of Reverse Mentoring
Studies of reverse mentorship have shown a reciprocal value for both mentees and mentors. One UK research paper on reverse mentoring noted that reverse mentoring can help facilitate the rapid exchange of insight across generations that is critical in knowledge-based organizations.
Study participants reported the older mentees benefited from being able to learn without pressure, which helped fuel the “love for learning and generative instincts commonly found in older leaders.”
The research showed that the younger mentors also benefit. One benefit cited is “intellectual stimulation, allowing emerging leaders to understand the complexities of organizations through the eyes of leaders and fulfillment through co-creation of significant and meaningful pieces of work with their mentee.”
Companies also benefit from lower turnover and improved knowledge transfer.
A Father’s Benefits From Reverse Mentorship
Peter shared that getting comfortable with networking was just one of many things he has learned from Nicole. One of the other lessons is recognizing the benefit of not getting stuck in a rut in your existing job. “It’s been so enjoyable as a parent watching my daughter being successful and growing as she has had multiple roles within AT&T.”
Nicole is a good example of how the youth of today are not standing still in the same job year after year, but seeking to grow their skills in a variety of jobs. Since being hired as a full-time employee at AT&T, Nicole has held three positions in just over three years, taking on new responsibilities and being promoted.
A third benefit Peter has seen is the appreciation for the vast resources AT&T offers its employees. Peter had been with AT&T for over 20 years when Nicole joined the company. When Nicole joined AT&T, she was eager to learn about all of the employee resources and learning opportunities the company had to offer.
“Nicole has opened my eyes to a vast number of employee resources available that I never really fully explored.” For example, Peter recently went to an education program on financial planning. “Seeing Nicole’s enthusiasm for learning has helped me embrace a mindset that is important to be a lifelong learner.”
Getting Started
While you may not work with your dad, you can still benefit from giving him the gift of mentorship. And if your dad only gets a fraction of the benefits Peter has gotten, giving the gift of mentoring will likely be a gift dad will enjoy more than any new tie or bottle of aftershave could provide. And, as with Nicole and Peter, the journey can begin with regular conversations about work and evolve from there.