Saying no can feel impossible when you’re a people pleaser. Maybe you’re trying to gain someone’s approval or avoid letting them down. No one wants to seem uncooperative, even when they’re drowning in work.
At the office, it’s even tougher. Sometimes, you don’t have a choice, but when you do, how can you turn down a request without coming off as difficult? How do you avoid getting labeled as the person who is hard to work with?
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. According to a report by Thriving Center of Psychology, 58% of Americans struggle to say “no” when asked to take on more.
Turning down others isn’t always as scary as it seems. Some might even say it’s one of the top skills for any job. Setting boundaries keeps you from being abused or overworked and helps you stay passionate about your work. Here are four scenarios when saying “no” is not only smart but necessary.
When You’re Overloaded
More and more people are feeling burned out. In fact, a report by McKinsey Health Institute reveals that 25% of workers surveyed experience its symptoms, and 40% believe it’s just part of being successful. But here’s the reality: constantly saying “yes” when you really want to say “no” can actually backfire and reduce your productivity. It just spreads you too thin, making it harder to focus on what actually matters. And when your plate’s too full, frustration and exhaustion aren’t far behind.
You can say: “Thanks for thinking of me. I’d love to help, but I’m currently focused on XYZ. Would you like me to prioritize this or the new project?”
Starting with appreciation keeps your response positive while still setting boundaries. Being transparent about your workload also shows that you’re not saying no just to avoid extra work, and making a strategic choice about where you can add the most value. Plus, giving an option of what to focus on keeps the conversation open without overcommitting yourself.
When Your Values Are On The Line
Ever been asked to do something that just doesn’t sit right with you? Hit pause. Don’t just say “yes” to keep the peace. Check the company policy, loop in a teammate you trust, or get a quick gut-check from your manager. If it still feels off, speak up and suggest alternatives that align with your values and keep your safety top of mind.
You can say: “I’d like to help, but this doesn’t align with how I usually handle things. Could we try [alternative solution] instead?”
This response keeps it straightforward. You’re acknowledging the request while clearly stating your concern. Offering alternatives shows you’re still willing to help, just in a way where you feel confident taking action. And if no one’s listening, consider bringing it up with HR or higher management. These conversations don’t have to be confrontational. You’re flagging something that could impact the team or the company, not just you.
When You’re Protecting Your Team’s Time
Sometimes saying “no” means calling out unrealistic deadlines. Before scrambling to meet a tight turnaround, take a step back and assess what’s actually possible. Break down the project into smaller tasks and estimate how long each one will take. If the timeline still feels impossible, it’s better to speak up sooner rather than later. Being upfront about what’s realistic can prevent your team from rushing and burning out.
You can say: “I’d love to help, but that deadline isn’t doable. How about we aim for [future time] instead?” Or something like “I can’t get the entire report done by [date], but I could have a first draft of section one ready. Does that work for you?”
Both responses acknowledge the request while offering a workable alternative. Putting your worries into context with facts and evidence shows you’re proposing a realistic plan that keeps everyone on track and not just pushing back.
When You’re Asked To Co-Sign Bad Ideas
Everyone wants to work in a space where people feel comfortable sharing their thoughts. And it’s true — everyone has something to offer. But let’s be real: not every idea is a winner. Sometimes, a suggestion is completely off-base, impractical, or just not the right fit. The challenge? Shutting it down without shutting someone down.
You can say: “Love that you’re bringing new ideas to the table. Let’s keep that in mind as an option while we explore a few other angles.”
This response keeps things positive while steering the conversation away from the idea without dismissing it outright. Plus, it opens the door for more (and hopefully stronger) suggestions. Mastering the art of the soft redirect doesn’t just prevent awkward moments. It also encourages your coworker to keep contributing, which could spark an even better second idea.
Learning to say “no” can make a big difference. Instead of jumping in to help right away, consider how your response impacts both you and the person asking. Whether the ask is big or small, setting boundaries shows that you’re a true team player who understands and communicates your limits. You’ve got this!