Pay Equity: Adam Grant Advice On How Women Can Negotiate Salary

Many employees, especially women, feel uncertain about how to negotiate salary in a landscape marked by layoffs, cost-saving measures, and shifting workplace dynamics. A recent Glassdoor poll shows that only 36% of women feel comfortable asking for a raise, compared to 44% of men. Additionally, 65% of women believe their salary would be different if they were a different gender, while only 29% of men share that belief.

Despite these challenges, pay transparency offers new avenues for women to advocate for fair compensation. With the rise of transparency laws and salary research tools, women are gaining access to valuable information to help them negotiate with confidence.

Double-Standards Fuel the Pay Equity Problem

While women are increasingly advocating for what they deserve, they are still paid less than their male counterparts. A major barrier to salary negotiation for many women is the fear of backlash, lack of confidence, or not feeling equipped to handle the conversation.

I interviewed Adam Grant, organizational psychologist and Glassdoor’s Chief Work-Life Expert, to provide insights on how to better prepare for negotiations. He shared, “The most striking result from the Glassdoor data for me is that 44 percent of men feel comfortable asking for a raise, compared to 36% of women. We have been talking about this problem for decades. It is really not a selfish act, nor a violation of humility, to ask for a raise if you deserve it—especially if you have made contributions that warrant it.” To close the pay gap, leaders and managers must foster a workplace culture where women are encouraged and rewarded for advocating for their worth.

Grant also highlighted that while women often use what’s perceived as “weak language” during negotiations, this approach can actually demonstrate humility and a willingness to collaborate. Rather than being a disadvantage, he explained, it can serve as an effective negotiation strategy.

“Research shows that asking for advice is not a sign of incompetence—it actually signals strong judgment. It shows that you know who to turn to for guidance,” Grant shared.

He suggested a simple yet powerful approach: “You can say, ‘Here’s my goal, here’s what I believe my contributions are worth, and here’s the data I’ve collected. I don’t have much experience negotiating in this context, but I know you do, and I’d love your guidance.’ That person is then more likely to become an advocate for you and help you achieve your goal.”

According to Grant, the best negotiators ask more questions than their peers. Showing a bit of uncertainty and curiosity about what the other person knows can open the conversation and lead to better outcomes.

Hannah Williams of Salary Transparent Street, a Glassdoor Worklife Pro, says that women “frequently feel the need to validate their pay by citing experience, education, or accomplishments, while men typically share their salary as the final answer without volunteering additional information. “

Tools That Can Help Women Negotiate Salary

Salary transparency laws clarify minimum salaries for roles and level the playing field. Glassdoor research has shown that about two-thirds of employer-provided pay ranges in job advertisements are accurate, but actual salaries often skew toward the lower end of the range. This information allows women to enter salary discussions and avoid undervaluing themselves confidently.

Equipped with salary research tools, women can gain the upper hand in negotiations. According to Glassdoor, women who are aware of market rates are three times more likely to negotiate a raise successfully. Beyond the salary data employers provide, resources like Glassdoor Salary tool, LinkedIn salary insights, and even social media platforms can offer valuable context.

Williams emphasizes that “the internet is a worker’s best friend when it comes to pay transparency and market research,” making it easier than ever for women to gather data before entering salary conversations. Being well-prepared with this information boosts confidence and strengthens your negotiating position.

Grant also pointed out a striking pattern: Women tend to ask for less than men when negotiating for themselves, but when advocating for someone else—such as a mentee or a family member—the gender gap disappears.

This suggests that women may feel more comfortable negotiating on behalf of others than for their own worth. One of the most effective strategies women can use is to approach their own salary negotiation as if they were negotiating for someone they mentor or care about. By shifting the perspective, they can tap into the same confidence and assertiveness they naturally demonstrate when advocating for others.

Be Curious, But Assert Your Needs

As a career coach, I encourage my clients to approach salary negotiations with curiosity while asserting their needs clearly and confidently. Curiosity is key to understanding the dynamics of your industry, your role, and the factors that influence your compensation. It involves asking the right questions: What is the market rate for my role? How does my experience compare to others in similar positions?

Curiosity also means being open to flexibility in your expectations. Instead of going into the negotiation with a fixed number or timeline, consider asking for a salary range (studies also show it’s better to ask for a salary range instead of a specific number) or exploring the possibility of a gradual increase over time. If salary increases aren’t an option, consider other ways to add value to your career, such as requesting additional training, responsibilities, or career development opportunities. This approach allows you to aim high while signaling your flexibility and willingness to collaborate on a mutually beneficial solution.

However, curiosity should not come at the expense of your worth. Assertiveness is key in expressing what you deserve. That is why it is also important to go to the meeting prepared, with data, specific needs you want to communicate and using clear, calibrated language to demonstrate your value while fostering collaboration. Your goal isn’t just to get the raise—it’s to do so in a way that strengthens your relationship with your employer and leaves room for future growth. Before the meeting, ask yourself “what is the worst that can happen if I ask for more”?

Key Preparation Steps to Negotiate Salary

1. Know Your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement):

   Before entering a negotiation, identify your minimum acceptable outcome—what you’re willing to walk away with if an agreement isn’t reached. This serves as your baseline and strengthens your confidence in the discussion.

2. Define Your Acceptable Outcome:

   Determine the point at which you would be satisfied with the offer. This is your realistic yet positive middle ground.

3. Set Your Ideal Outcome or Aspirational Target:

   This is your best-case scenario—the highest salary, benefits, or terms you can reasonably aim for based on market value and your contributions.

4. Avoid the Win-Lose Mentality—Think Beyond Salary:

   Salary negotiations often feel like a zero-sum game, but they don’t have to be. Instead of focusing only on salary, consider making it a multi-issue negotiation. Include factors like location flexibility, bonuses, benefits, work hours, or professional development opportunities.

5. Rank Your Priorities:

   Not all components of an offer hold equal weight. Determine what matters most to you—whether it’s higher pay, additional vacation time, flexible hours, or remote work options—and rank them in order of importance.

6. Use MISO (Multiple Equivalent Simultaneous Offers):

   Instead of presenting a single offer, put forward multiple options that are equally favorable to you but structured differently. This allows the employer to choose what works best for them while ensuring you get a desirable outcome. For example, one offer may include a slightly lower salary with a higher bonus and flexible hours, while another could focus on a higher base salary with fewer benefits. This approach not only gives you more leverage but also provides insight into the organization’s priorities.

By preparing in this way, you transform the negotiation from a rigid back-and-forth into a more strategic and collaborative discussion—helping you achieve a deal that benefits both you and your employer.

While the gender pay gap continues to pose challenges, pay transparency and strong strategies to negotiate salary offer women a clear path to closing the gap. By leveraging salary transparency laws, preparing with market research, and applying effective negotiation techniques, women can advocate for themselves with confidence and