An Unexpected Situation: How To Manage A Fight With A Coworker

We’ve all been there. One minute you’re discussing the latest project deadline, and the next, you’re in a heated debate over whether Comic Sans is an acceptable font for professional presentations (it’s not, but also, it’s not that big a deal). Arguments with coworkers are inevitable—I’ve gotten in them myself, and I’m literally perfect. But fear not! Here’s your step-by-step guide to navigating these arguments with your professional relationships—and dignity—intact.

Take a Beat

In the heat of the moment, emotions run high, and it’s easy to say something you’ll regret. Before you escalate the situation further, take a step back. A brief walk, a nap (don’t tell your boss), or a few deep breaths can help you cool down and approach the situation with a clear mind.

Be Rational

LOL imagine if this were easy. It’s not, but it’s still helpful. Once you’ve calmed down, try to view the situation from an outsider’s perspective. Was it a misunderstanding that blew out of proportion? A clash of personalities? Stress manifesting as conflict? Understanding the root cause can guide your approach to resolution.

Think through the makeup talk

Think about what you want to say ahead of time. Focus on “I” statements to express how you feel in a way that doesn’t place blame. For example: “I felt overlooked when my ideas weren’t considered during the meeting.” And don’t attempt to resolve the conflict in the middle of a team meeting. Schedule a time to talk privately, ensuring you both have the space to discuss the matter without distractions or an audience.

Listen

Especially if you’re a man (because you might not otherwise remember to). During your conversation, practice active listening. This means fully concentrating on what your coworker is saying, understanding their message, responding appropriately, and remembering the discussion. It’s not just about waiting for your turn to speak; it’s about genuinely trying to understand their perspective. Sometimes, you won’t see eye to eye, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to win the argument; it’s to find a way to work together effectively despite your differences.

Move on

Get over it!!! Well, once the situation has been resolved, of course. And remember: every workplace conflict presents a learning opportunity. Reflect on what happened and consider what you might do differently next time. Did you jump to conclusions? Could you have communicated more clearly? Self-reflection is key to personal and professional growth. Once you’ve learned a million great lessons, it’s time to move forward. Holding onto grudges only hurts you. Unless you’re obsessed with revenge, which I’d discourage.