A Fool-Proof Strategy To Easily Reach Your Goals

By Homaira Kabir

So here’s a lesser known fact about motivation: it naturally ebbs and flows.

Regardless of how excited, pumped up, driven you feel toward your goals in the beginning, that energy will die down. There’s nothing you can do about it.

Which means two things in particular.

If you’re counting on motivation to take you to the end, you’re in for a reality check. The reason gyms are empty by the end of January isn’t that people are lazy or they don’t really care about getting fit. It’s because they didn’t plan for the way our brain functions.

Secondly, if you think you can energize yourself back up every time you don’t ‘feel like it’, you’re bringing suffering on yourself. You’ll either be critical of your lack of motivation, or you’ll have very little energy left for the very thing you need to do. More disappointment.

So how do you stay on track for goals that are important to you?

Shift from motivation to identity.

Motivation depends on your emotions and emotions have a short-lived cycle. Especially positive emotions because our brains are always scanning the world for what’s going wrong or can go wrong or went wrong in the past. Getting caught up in this cycle is like trying to convince a toddler in the midst of a meltdown.

Identity, on the other hand, is underpinned by values, which leaves a lot less room for negotiation. Think about it—when you tell someone you can’t do something because it’s against your values, they aren’t going to argue with you. It’s the same with yourself.

The key is to create an identity that’s based on who you are in the realization of your goal.

For example, if your goal is to be made partner by year end, imagine the person you’ll be when that happens. Think of how she’s showing up. What are the values she lives by? How does she balance important aspects of her life? How do people feel around her? What is unique about her that makes her good at what she does?

Create a Structure

The more granular you are, the easier it’ll be to translate these behaviors into habits because habits don’t require mental energy. Once you know the behaviors you’ll adopt and those you’ll let go of, create a daily structure that’s aligned with your future self.

This is especially important if you’re a perfectionist and feel the urge to change everything all at once!

Seek Guidance from Your Identity

The more you live in alignment with this identity, the easier it’ll be to turn to her for guidance when you need to. For example, when you face a setback, you can ask her what she would do. Or when you feel unsupported by your boss, you can ask her what you need to do to take back charge of your goal. This may sound woo-woo, especially if you’re used to thinking logically and planning every minute detail.

However, there are many forms of thinking; a future-based identity will give you access to wisdom and offer you the clarity you can’t access when you’re in the throes of confusion, frustration, or disappointment.

In his book The Mental Game, author Darrin Donnelly writes “whatever you believe about yourself becomes reality”. Believing the best about yourself not only helps in achieving your goals, it also impacts other areas of your life because you’re living in integrity with the highest version of yourself.

Homaira Kabir is a leadership coach whose seminal research on confidence is helping thousands of women succeed on their own terms. Her book Goodbye, Perfect is a top 10 women’s leadership book, 2023.