Hard Times For Working Moms: 4 Ways To Offer Meaningful Support

Being a working mom can be tremendously rewarding, but it is also tremendously challenging. And it’s getting harder for increasing numbers of women.

More moms are working today, at the same time there is less childcare available. In addition, working mothers face bias at work and they struggle with mental health. And working mothers don’t get support from their partners to the extent they should—as they fulfill a greater proportion of responsibilities outside of work.

But there are things you can do to support moms as they navigate the work-life and parenting terrain.

1. Offer to Advocate

Perhaps one of the best actions you can take to support working moms is to advocate for them at work.

There are plenty of mothers in the workforce. In fact, 66.6% of women who gave birth in the last 12 months are working, compared with 66.5% in 2021 and 61.6% in 2020, according to the U.S. Census Bureau and Axios.

Unfortunately, moms who work face a “maternal bias” in which people believe women can’t be both great moms and great at their career. The (conscious or unconscious) bias is at the root of a belief that if a woman is good at motherhood, she isn’t also performing well at work and vice versa. The bias was documented in a study by the University of Michigan and is both widespread and shared by all genders.

But mothing can build key skills that are invaluable at work. An innovative survey by (In)Credible found increases in key skills based on the tasks of caregiving. Significant numbers of respondents reported increases in

• Empathy – 71%
• Stress tolerance – 63%
• Communication – 63%
• Time management – 54%
• Advocacy – 47%
• Conflict management – 42%
• Motivating others – 30%
• Leadership – 20%

To support women, you can be sure to view and appreciate them for their skills and contributions regardless of their maternal status—and credit them for all they bring. Support women’s pay and promotions, offer them coaching and mentoring and push for more benefits, flexibility and opportunities for women, including working moms.

2. Offer Support

Another significant way to help working moms is to ask questions, listen and offer support.

Working mothers face a lot of stress, and 49% say they feel burned out by motherhood. In addition, 46% of moms are seeking therapy for depression (12%), relationships (16%) and post-partum issues (15%). And their kids are also struggling with 10% receiving mental health support. All of this is according to a survey of nearly 10,000 working mothers by Motherly.

And moms also feel the pressure in additional ways as well, with data from Peanut demonstrating

• 99% felt society puts pressure on women to do it all
• 96% felt expected to put themselves last and sacrifice themselves to meet the demands of their responsibilities
• 92% felt anxious
• 91% felt stress, burnout or exhaustion
• 87% felt overwhelmed
• 83% felt lonely, isolated or irritable
• 76% felt depressed

In response to these struggles, you can share your own experiences as a mom or a parent, and be transparent about your struggles, so working moms can feel less alone. Encourage moms to get professional help when they need it.

Feeling seen is especially helpful for mental health so make time, ask questions, listen and be present to hear working mothers’ struggles. Offer empathy, encouragement and support.

3. Offer Your Time

One of the factors that makes it so tough to be a working mom is that you’re always working—on some responsibility in your life. This challenge has been documented since 1989 (although it was certainly real before that)—in a classic study by Dr. Arlie Hochschild. She found women were working a “second shift” in which they worked outside the home all day, and then came home at night to work more hours in caring for their families and carrying out the responsibilities of life.

Today, almost 35 years later, the reality is similar, with only 32% of working moms reporting to Motherly they share responsibilities equally with a partner—down 2% since last year. And 62% of moms reporting they get less than one hour a day to themselves.

You can support working mothers by giving them time. Offer to donate a couple hours on a weekend or trade childcare so moms have time to themselves. Offer to help with tasks that may be overwhelming or take on responsibilities which ease their burden.

4. Offer to Influence

Another key barrier working moms face is childcare, and if you have influence at work, you can use it in powerful ways to guide organizations toward solutions.

In fact, 68% of people reported childcare is not sufficiently accessible or affordable today, and 60% of parents struggle to find adequate childcare—with 48% saying it’s impossible, according a poll by KinderCare Learning Companies.

In addition, large numbers of parents are having to make tough decisions about their employment based on the crisis—from switching jobs (74%) or taking on less demanding work (73%) to scaling back their hours (70%), moving (65%) or taking a freelance job (64%), based on the KinderCare data.

And 64% of working moms say they need flexible work schedules to return to work, according to Motherly.

In response, you can influence employers to collaborate in the solutions for childcare—recommending creative options like pre-taxed income for child care, emergency/back up child care, subsidized childcare and flexible working hours and locations.

Be a Villager

Both work and parenting can be terrific sources of joy and fulfillment—and they both take effort, energy and endurance. Statistically, when you work harder for something you’re more likely to appreciate it—and hard things are often the most rewarding—fitting for both work and parenting.

In addition, both work and parenting are best done in community. It’s true that it takes a village to raise a child—and supporting working moms results in positive outcomes for them, their children and for us all.