Aside from your physical and financial health, it’s important to maintain your mental and social health in retirement. This is essential, since social isolation is linked to worse health outcomes. Dr. Vivek Murthy, the U.S. Surgeon General, has been on a campaign to address loneliness and social isolation. He’s one of the first public health officials to do so. Dr. Murthy goes so far to suggest that loneliness is an “epidemic” and is definitely hurting us.
“I was really shocked to discover just how powerful the health implications of loneliness are,” Murthy told the Guardian in an interview. “I hadn’t realized that being socially disconnected was associated with a marked increase in depression and anxiety, as well as in heart disease, dementia and premature death. These things underscored the point that loneliness is a public health threat – and one that affects millions of people across America.”
Dr. Murthy says one of the antidotes to loneliness is establishing high-quality relationships. You can you call in a pinch? You can share with you not only their time but their experience? These qualities generally can’t be found online.
“Something that I say to college students all the time is that quality matters so much more than quantity,” Murthy adds.
“One of the many harmful consequences of the age of social media is that it convinced us that quantity of connections is what matters. People began tracking, how many followers do I have? How many people are liking or reposting what I put up? What we used to think of as friends became our followers. But your followers are not the people who are showing up for you in the middle of a crisis.”
How do you measure or find a high-quality relationship? Who can you call in an emergency? When I had a biking accident last year and dislocated my shoulder, I needed my neighbor to track down my wife to drive me to the emergency room. He did so. I knew I could depend on him.
It’s surprising how many chronic diseases and conditions are linked to social isolation. The CDC has compiled a short list of links to diabetes, heart disease, depression and dementia. Certain groups are more vulnerable than others. Research suggests that loneliness impacts some groups more than others, including:
- Low-income adults.
- Young adults.
- Older adults.
- Adults living alone.
- People with chronic diseases and disabilities.
- Immigrants.
- Individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (or queer).
Better relationships, I’ve found, happen in “connected” communities. I’m not talking about internet service, I’m referring to places where people talk to each other and are engaged in looking after their neighbors. This can happen in any place from a densely packed apartment building to a gated community.
The key to human connection? Dialogue. Join a club or activity. Volunteer. Sign up with a service club. It doesn’t matter. Be a part of something that builds community.