Communicating With Executives: 2 Styles To Avoid

A common source of frustration shared by CEO clients centers on how others communicate with them. What are they experiencing? Here’s a sampling: Too much irrelevant detail, not enough insight, unproductive discussions with no clear outcomes, members of the team who lack curiosity, meetings that missed the point or focused on the wrong issues, leaders who do too much talking, not enough talking, not enough listening, materials that aren’t C-level ready. It’s a long list and given that the average executive isn’t shy about sharing what works and what doesn’t, there is plenty we can do to set ourselves up for success. Not sure where to start? Consider two styles to avoid:

Avoid the Unknown. Executives expect leaders to speak up, make themselves heard, and proactively raise ideas. What do they get instead in some cases? A style we might describe as The Unknown. The Unknown often thinks things like: I am waiting for the right moment to weigh in, offer an insight, or simply speak up. Unfortunately, that moment never seems to arrive, particularly in larger meetings or group settings, where the Unknown’s quiet, deferential style gets crowded out. As a result, it’s hard to know their perspective, where they stands on an issue or even if they can hold their own in a room with their peers.

It isn’t uncommon to hear the Unknown say things like, “I’m not the kind of person who talks just to hear themselves talk,” to explain their approach. They’ll tell you that it is hard to get a word in edgewise in meetings or that they don’t like to interrupt others. Fair enough, and sometimes, being a quiet listener is certainly the right move. Done too often, it becomes a problem, because senior leaders – including all introverts and extroverts – are expected to engage, share insights, ask questions, speak up, make recommendations, and have a point of view.

What to do if you’re an Unknown: Unknowns may have great ideas and plenty of value to share, but their style may prevent others from seeing it. For Unknowns, preparation before meetings or large group settings is essential. Some may need to prepare what to say, and also when and how to say it, so the moment doesn’t pass by without having an opportunity to speak up. Here’s something else to consider if you’re an Unknown: Let your guard down, notice where you may be playing it too safe. Lower the bar for yourself, let go of the idea that you must only offer brilliant ideas in meetings or be an expert in an area in order to earn the right to speak up. Let your leadership voice be heard.

Avoid the Knower. The Knower displays a style you might describe as “chronic certainty.” It may be tempting to think that this style belongs to other people, but the need to be right is hard-wired into all of us, a byproduct of our evolution as humans to exert control over our environment and results. It’s why it’s easy to recognize the different ways in which the Knower style presents when interacting with executives. For instance, when challenged or questioned, Knowers react quickly, providing longer answers than needed and overexplaining to make a point, instead of demonstrating curiosity, or pausing before responding. You might notice they struggle to listen or dismiss input from others, rather than ask questions or go deeper to get underneath concerns.

What to do if you’re a Knower: To get at this style, start by noticing whether you default to a style of “persuading harder” as a way to influence. When the CEO questions or challenges your ideas, resist the urge to defend or overexplain. Consider whether you interpret questions from other executives as code for, “Your idea is wrong.” Rather, interpret a challenging executive as someone who needs to feel more comfortable, confident, and clear about what you’re sharing so they are better able see the value in your ideas in the first place.