Alla Adam, Lean Startup & VC Coach | Negotiator | Investor | Author | Founder at Alla Adam Coaching.
“Do what you can do better than anyone else,” they said. “Find the one skill that makes you stand out and double down on it,” they said. “What is it that everyone else is doing but only you know how to do more effectively?” they kept asking.
These and similar clichés haunted Scott for all his life—until one crisp December morning in 2017, that is. We met at a local Chicago tea shop where they served my favorite, Armenian Mint, and his much-needed (at that time) hot chocolate. This was Scott’s seventh attempt to figure out what he could do better than anyone else and to probably, maybe, finally start doing it.
During the time of our meeting, Scott was a chief human resource officer (CHRO) at a Fortune 500 corporation. He had a spacious corner office, a reliable team and a fair remuneration package with hefty bonuses. Several weeks before our meeting he graduated from an executive education program at one of the best business schools in the world, and the company covered the cost of his education. From an outsider’s perspective, Scott was living his dream life and developing both professionally and personally.
However, he was not. Deep inside he felt torn—he wanted to understand what his calling was, and at the same time, he was afraid to move the focus from his job. With a grim look on his face, Scott slowly started revealing the details of a double life he’d been living—he was a superb C-level executive by day and a maniac “passion hunter” by night. Over the past couple of years, he had gained over 60 pounds, stopped going to the gym, slept less than six hours per night, barely saw his friends and didn’t have a girlfriend. No matter how many options Scott tried, nothing worked out on the subject of what he could do better than others.
Two hours and three of Scott’s hot chocolates later, we had a plan. And here’s what it looked like.
1. Build a system.
Goals are for those who care about winning once, while systems are for those who care about winning repeatedly. Scott wanted to win repeatedly. At the very beginning of our coaching, his system looked simple—he listed basic hard and soft skills, major points of leverage (network, etc.), education, knowledge of three languages and his home state and hometown culture. The idea of this vital first step is that when you feel overwhelmed with uncertainty, a simple system is what you start with.
2. Collect feedback.
This was the most challenging part of Scott’s early transformation. He needed to collect feedback from his closest friends, his fellow C-suite leaders and members of his team—three feedbacks per group, while asking each person one question: If you were to hire me to do a single task, what task would that be, and why? Fast-forward two weeks; Scott had a list of answers that surprised him, to say the least.
3. Challenge beliefs.
For most of his adult life, Scott held a belief that he must become the CEO of a large multinational corporation just like his father had some years ago. Every January, for his birthday, he received a card from his parents wishing him a bright new year ahead and the position of CEO in the near future. As the years passed by, Scott felt like he was betraying his parents because he wasn’t able (or eager) to live up to their dreams.
To cut a long story short, Scott didn’t want to become a CEO; it was an imposed belief. During our coaching we determined minor imposed beliefs as well—a family with two kids, a vacation home in Florida and a collection of miniature boats in glass bottles that at a certain point he believed could make a fancy hobby. One by one we challenged Scott’s beliefs and determined a few that were genuinely his own.
4. Make a move.
The feedback from Scott’s colleagues and friends served as a reliable road map for his next moves. The objective was to try each of the nine tasks for a period of one week. In Scott’s case, he needed to try only six tasks because three of the nine answers were the same. Scott used all his vacation time and it took him a little longer than six weeks, but the result was worth it. Later on, he revealed that the time stretch was due to the almost unbearable internal resistance to the change, the need to redirect his attention from what he thought was important to what was really important.
The plan was solid; however, Scott’s changes took two more years before he started actively living what he could do better than anyone else.
The last spring before the pandemic I was looking for solace in a small, cozy town in Colorado. It was Scott’s (whose name is changed for confidentiality) hometown; I knew he had returned there some time ago, and I gave him a call. The next morning we met in his bakery. Scott was wearing an apron and a big, shiny grin on his face. Two croissants and two Armenian Mints later, it was clear that Scott was in his element. “I finally love what I do,” he said, “and I know I can do it better than anyone else.”
P.S.: Despite the heartbreaking pandemic challenges, Scott’s bakery survived and was voted the best in the county. He opened two more restaurants and recently entered negotiations with a major retail chain to bring the taste of his delicious pastry to every home in America.
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